Friday, November 7, 2014

Ok... you asked me to write a letter. Now what?

Hey folks. Did my letter make you angry?

Mad as hell and not going to take it any more?

Good. The first thing I'm going to tell you now is..... Calm Down.

Every movement (and yes that's what I'm trying to do here) needs one or two angry sarcastic assholes. Those are the few folks who rile things up when polite discourse fails, and it is a bit of a learned skill. However every movement needs the kind, upstanding, and civil members to outnumber the assholes by about 1000 to one if it ever wants to get anywhere.

Besides, it's my blog. so you folks be the nice fine upstanding citizens and I'll be the Dick.

The second thing I'm going to tell you is.... Write a letter.

You don't have to address it to anybody. Open up your word program and let out all your anger, your frustration, your foul language. Get it out of your system, rip someone a new asshole.

Feel better?

The third thing I'm going to tell you is.... Delete that and now write the letter you are actually going to send.

Doesn't need to be much, or fancy, I'll give you an example

Dear Buttmunch (Honorable Minister of Health will probably work better. If you actually used the word buttmunch please see the second thing I told you)

My name is  _______ . I was a smoker for ______ years and smoked _____ pack(s) a day.
I tried to quit smoking ____ times using _______, and _______, (etc).

I started using e-cigarettes (I prefer to use "personal vaporizers" here to separate preconceptions) on ___________, and my last cigarette was smoked on ______________. I have been tobacco free for___________.

Currently I use ___________ flavoured e-liquid (dump juice its a poor choice of wording) at _______ mg/ml nicotine strength. (Note whether you have reduced from a higher strength).

I found the transition ____________ (be honest. if it was easy or hard. If you had support from a vendor or forum. be careful identifying vendors though; you don't want anything silly like a nicotine raid going on. Say something like "The fine young lady at the shop where I got my starter kit" or something like that... Wait... Only use fine young lady if you are an old fart like me. It means something different to young people.)

(Now Close It Out.)

My name is __________ and I quit smoking using a personal vaporizer (a consumer electronic device) and e-liquid containing nicotine (which is NOT a tobacco product but more closely related to nicotine gum). I AM the proof my government says does not exist, and I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this letter.

__________________ (Your Real Name)


Now go remove all the stuff in brackets that's highlighted green and welcome to the revolution.

'Kay, wrote the letter... now what.

Well lets start with saving that letter. Done? Good.

Cut and paste it to your e-mail. Title it something appropriate such as "I quit smoking using a vaporizer (E Cigarette)". Always put "E Cigarette" in brackets. We need to start divorcing the terminology unless we are talking to smokers who don't understand the terminology yet. It's important because its one of the things our opponents use to smack us about the ears.

Find the e-mail addresses for your local politicians; your Health Minister, your Premier, your MLA and the opposition leadership.
Find the e-mail for your MP.

Add the following emails for the Standing Committee on Health These are the folks currently working on e-cigarettes in Ottawa.


 Email: Eve.Adams@parl.gc.ca
Email: libby.davies@parl.gc.ca
Email: hedy.fry@parl.gc.ca
Email: Matthew.Kellway@parl.gc.ca
Email: ben.lobb@parl.gc.ca
Email: james.lunney@parl.gc.ca
Email: Dany.Morin@parl.gc.ca
Email: David.Wilks@parl.gc.ca
Email: terence.young@parl.gc.ca

Those e-mails go in the "To" section.

Now find the email for "letters to the editor" for your local paper, your provincial papers, and the National Post. Those e-mails go in the "CC" section.

Wait, why the press?

Ask a politician a tough question alone and they'll pretend you don't exist like my three year old does to me when I say "eat your brussel sprouts".

CC a reporter and they start to sweat.

Hit send.

Why did I save this letter?

Every time you see someone elses letter in an online paper. Cut and paste yours to the comments section. Support each other. ALWAYS.


E-mail is like so 1990's; So, Like, can I, like, use twitter? Dude? Do you even tweet brah?

@hedyfry @libbydavies @MPEveadams @mathewkellway  @benlobbmp @jameslunneymp @davidjohnwilks I quit tobacco using vaporizers September 2014. 18mg/ml #IAMproof #Vapingworks

You get the point. Dany and Terence won't because they don't use twitter. However Terence has pretty much made his statement on his web page. All I can say is... Closed minded dick.

I want to see those hashtags trending. Throw an @ECTAofCanada , an @larochecbc. and @nationalpost in there to. Hell, throw an @MadMeathead in there to and show me you care.

Pitter Patter folks... go stir up some shit, but be nice about it.

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